Fostering Futures℠
The California Association of Health and Education Linked Professions is excited to introduce you to Fostering Futures℠ a podcast that brings you high-quality, research-based content designed to inspire and educate. Each episode is crafted with care, drawing on the knowledge of credible experts, parents, and community members to ensure both trustworthiness and depth.
Our mission is to engage and expand our audience by delivering thought-provoking material that focuses on key areas crucial to the development and well-being of all youth. Through our discussions, we aim to provide insights that are not only relevant but also transformative.
Join us as we explore innovative approaches in special education, Social Emotional Well-Being, and Community. Be ready to be apart of a community committed to making a positive impact.
Visit us at www.cahelp.org
Fostering Futures℠
Episode 5 - Emotional and Mental Load Athletes Carry While Juggling School
In this powerful episode host Athena Cordero is joined by Naomi Hill, Intervention Specialist at Desert Mountain Children’s Center, for an open and moving conversation about the mental health needs of youth athletes. Through humor, heart, and real-life stories, they shine a light on what student athletes are really carrying on and off the field.
Naomi shares her journey from group homes to classrooms to soccer sidelines, and how managing her daughter’s team opened her eyes to the emotional weight student athletes often shoulder in silence. What started as a simple support group evolved into a safe space where teens could be themselves, beyond the jersey, beyond the scoreboard.
Together, they explore how school-based wellness programs can help athletes navigate pressure, grief, expectations, and identity, while also building stronger peer relationships and self-awareness. It’s a timely reminder that behind every athlete is a whole person trying to be seen.
🔑 Highlights & Takeaways:
- Why mental health support for athletes matters now more than ever
- How simple connection, snacks, games, and listening opens the door to healing
- The power of peer-led empathy: when teens feel safe, they support each other
- Why coaches and parents must look beyond performance to see the person
- How “I don’t know” can be the most powerful thing an adult says to a kid
This episode is a must-listen for educators, coaches, counselors, and parents who want to support student athletes as whole humans, not just players. Because sometimes, the most meaningful win isn’t on the field, it’s when a young person finally feels safe enough to speak.
Thanks for listening! Follow us on Facebook and Instagram | www.cahelp.org | podcast@cahelp.org
00:00:45 Athena Cordero
So Naomi.
00:00:47 Naomi Hill
Yes, ma'am.
00:00:49 Athena Cordero
So I can't. I'm going to have to just start off right now and say I'm sorry because I'm going to call you.
00:00:54 Athena Cordero
Nay, uh-huh. Throughout.
00:00:56 Athena Cordero
This whole conversation, I can't help it. I know, I know. So OK. And the reason I'm going to call you, nay is because we've known each other, man.
00:01:07 Athena Cordero
Since our kids were are so since let's see.
00:01:12 Athena Cordero
Were they 5-6?
00:01:14 Naomi Hill
5 This is in kinder.
00:01:15 Athena Cordero
And now they're.
00:01:16 Athena Cordero
And yes, yes, she was. That was her first year and.
00:01:22 Athena Cordero
Let's didn't go to. No. OK, no. All right. But I brought them some time. OK. I was to say, as I remember them, be there. And they're now both 19. Yes. OK, so you were always miss. Nay. You're still miss nay to my kids. It is going to slip out. OK. Even your kid that wasn't in my class. Exactly. It just transcends.
00:01:33 Naomi Hill
Uh-huh.
00:01:42 Athena Cordero
For.
00:01:42 Athena Cordero
OK, so I know all the things that you've been doing for the past, oh, 1415, almost years.
00:01:50 Naomi Hill
Huh.
00:01:52 Athena Cordero
As far as working with kids working here at SOPA.
00:01:57 Athena Cordero
The things you did before Salpa still working with kids. We just finished talking about your ability to teach even 5 year old sign language.
00:02:08 Athena Cordero
And then want to do it and even go past what you expected and right?
00:02:12 Athena Cordero
You do right?
00:02:14 Athena Cordero
OK, so that is how who? I know you to be. I really want you to try to share as much as you can of that. OK with our listeners. So today we're going to talk about which I thought was a really great topic.
00:02:28 Athena Cordero
Youth athletes and mental health. So just so folks have an idea of who they're listening to, tell us a little bit about your background and then what you do here at CIA help.
00:02:39 Athena Cordero
OK.
00:02:41 Naomi Hill
So like you said, I worked with well, I started off working with your little 1 when she was five years old. But before that I worked in multiple group homes in San Bernardino with our teenagers and our little ones. I even worked.
00:03:00 Naomi Hill
In the state of Virginia.
00:03:02 Naomi Hill
And for a year and worked with the youth out there.
00:03:06 Naomi Hill
I'm kind of doing the same thing. Youth that had that were in a group home and just a tough upbringing and things of that nature.
00:03:14 Naomi Hill
I went back to school and got my AA in child development and then moved on to get my bachelors in psychology and then moved on and got my masters in.
00:03:25 Athena Cordero
Social work? He sure did. I was around for that.
00:03:27 Naomi Hill
Congratulations, stressed out. Yeah, I.
00:03:32 Naomi Hill
I needed mental help myself.
00:03:33
Itself.
00:03:34 Athena Cordero
That was the.
00:03:35 Naomi Hill
Struggle. But then after that, you know, I worked in the after school program and then I moved on to early intervention with the zero to three-year olds. And then I started working as a social worker, agency, social worker and a foster agency. And then I ended up here at Desert Mountain Children's Center as an intervention.
00:03:55 Naomi Hill
Specialist.
00:03:58 Naomi Hill
And so I would go to multiple schools and do therapy with the kids. Yeah. And now I'm stationed at one of the high schools here.
00:04:10 Naomi Hill
In their Wellness program. So a lot of the schools are especially the high schools are trying to up and run their Wellness Centers for the students. So that's where I've been.
00:04:21 Naomi Hill
For the last.
00:04:21 Naomi Hill
Year and a half more than a year and a half, yeah, so.
00:04:27 Athena Cordero
That's what I do.
00:04:29 Athena Cordero
So and that's not all you do. I mean you, you gave us, you gave us a good roundup, but there is a lot more in there. I think you've worked with every age, yes, of child.
00:04:42 Naomi Hill
Yeah.
00:04:43 Athena Cordero
And kids with special needs. Yep. Kids from. Like you said, just tough, tough backgrounds and then, you know, kids that are just willing to push your buttons. Yeah, a little bit just to.
00:04:55 Naomi Hill
See what happens? Yep. Beep beep.
00:04:57 Athena Cordero
Yeah, too. Right. So see how.
00:04:58 Naomi Hill
What's?
00:04:59 Athena Cordero
It goes OK. So in this current.
00:05:04 Athena Cordero
In your current placement, where you are right now the the Wellness program right is that where what just tell us when you started really looking into the topic of mental health for youth athletes.
00:05:16 Naomi Hill
Well, all my kids play soccer and they played other sports too, but their main sport was soccer.
00:05:27 Naomi Hill
I want to say.
00:05:29 Naomi Hill
Back in 2017, I became the manager of my oldest daughter team and and being the manager you interact with the kids more.
00:05:40 Naomi Hill
Yeah. So in interacting with them, I just noticed that there was some things that they were struggling with, you know, emotionally frustrated, you know, about their game play or their parents in school because, you know, we would compete against our own club players at their school. Yes.
00:06:00 Naomi Hill
You know, you know, you just.
00:06:03 Naomi Hill
In the mix of everything that's going on compared to just being a parent on a sideline, right? So I would talk with them, we would have like little meetings. We would have like conversations and I just realized like there's a lot more to what they go through as athletes, not just as a student, not just as.
00:06:23 Naomi Hill
Teenager.
00:06:24 Naomi Hill
But being an athlete is just a whole different level.
00:06:28 Athena Cordero
And type of being a student and a teenager, right?
00:06:29 Naomi Hill
Uh-huh.
00:06:31 Naomi Hill
There's a lot more stressors in that, so that's kind of when I started to become interested in working with student athletes, just trying to get a feel of what they need and how to support them because.
00:06:39 Athena Cordero
OK.
00:06:45 Naomi Hill
We had a lot of great athletes that would quit.
00:06:49 Naomi Hill
That would.
00:06:51 Naomi Hill
Had a lot of trauma, you know, in the midst of it, we've been to like parents, funerals, parents will pass away.
00:06:56
Wow.
00:06:58 Naomi Hill
Their whole support system.
00:07:00 Naomi Hill
We have some that would struggling with.
00:07:03 Naomi Hill
It's just a lot that goes behind that. So I had asked here if I could run like a group for student athletes.
00:07:14 Naomi Hill
And I got the green light. OK. Which was funny because it was like, what's the plan? I'm.
00:07:20 Naomi Hill
Like oh, I don't have one.
00:07:23 Naomi Hill
So I'm going to wing it like I do everything else.
00:07:25 Athena Cordero
But I do want your permission to do.
00:07:27 Naomi Hill
This right like can I just do it? You're like I, I guess. But I knew coach at one of the schools.
00:07:37 Naomi Hill
So he kind of gave me.
00:07:42 Naomi Hill
Who to talk to? OK, so I got in there and talked to the counselor, who also was an athlete when they were younger, had children who were athletes. So we're.
00:07:50 Naomi Hill
Is in this conversation about how hard it is and things of that nature, and she was all in, so we just went from there. So I started with the the boys and girls soccer team and.
00:08:06 Naomi Hill
Like I said, we really didn't know what we were doing the first week, but by the second week, I'm like, oh, we got this. Yeah, and.
00:08:14 Athena Cordero
So wait. So tell me about the first week.
00:08:16 Naomi Hill
Oh, the first week? Well, I think the thing was it was.
00:08:27 Naomi Hill
The way that it was being presented was like a regular group that was kind of.
00:08:34 Naomi Hill
A curriculum that was already set for a group setting which didn't really work out because it wasn't geared towards athletes. So I was like, yeah, this is, this is boring, right? Right. Yeah. We we need more. So I just told the kids, like, take off your backpacks because they're just trying to figure out, like.
00:08:53 Naomi Hill
What are we doing here?
00:08:54 Naomi Hill
Take off your backpacks. Chill.
00:08:58 Naomi Hill
What do you guys want for snacks to bring up in here? What do you guys like? OK, the Wellness room had, like, all kind of stuff they had beating. They had puzzles they had. I started pulling out stuff. Just kick back. Let's just chill. So the first week was just tough because they were very, like, had on their backpacks. They we're we're talking about how to respect one another. And they're just looking like.
00:09:10 Athena Cordero
Yes.
00:09:22 Athena Cordero
So this wasn't interesting for them really. OK.
00:09:24 Naomi Hill
It wasn't for me either. I was like, oh.
00:09:28 Naomi Hill
OK, I'll work here. I can't leave, so, hey, I gotta stay. So it was just kind.
00:09:33 Naomi Hill
Of like, OK, where do we go from here?
00:09:37 Naomi Hill
And the first, the first week the boys session because we had them separated, there were only four boys.
00:09:44 Athena Cordero
Because so was.
00:09:45 Athena Cordero
This was a mandatory for them to come to, so these four came on their.
00:09:49 Naomi Hill
Own they came on their own. OK, so the following week I was like, OK brought in snacks because, you know, kids love snacks.
00:09:58 Athena Cordero
Of course.
00:10:00 Naomi Hill
Take off your backpacks, sit wherever you want to sit. Let's just talk. And we started using this.
00:10:07 Naomi Hill
Curriculum. Shoot. Oh, God, it just slipped my mind. But one of the parts of the curriculum.
00:10:13 Naomi Hill
Is colors OK?
00:10:15 Naomi Hill
And so we wanted to learn about different temperaments and who you are as a person and how you guys get along as a group. And and we did that and we did like different little sessions with them. That's part of that.
00:10:30 Naomi Hill
Curriculum, but it's very interactive, so they got to stand up, move around, OK. And they learned a lot about themselves. So that four boy group went to 710.
00:10:44 Naomi Hill
14 to where we had the the athletic director come in and say, what are you doing in here? Cause everyone's leaving our athlete group to come over here and I had one of the students that was kind of like I considered like the class clown. Yeah. I said, well, why don't we explain it to him? And he broke it down.
00:10:55 Athena Cordero
Wow.
00:11:05 Naomi Hill
And I was just looking like, oh, do pay attention. Right. And they learned a lot.
00:11:11 Naomi Hill
UM.
00:11:13 Athena Cordero
How many weeks did you have?
00:11:14 Naomi Hill
To do this, we did it.
00:11:15 Athena Cordero
For eight weeks. OK, so first.
00:11:17 Athena Cordero
Week we could try to figure.
00:11:19 Athena Cordero
It out. What week?
00:11:19 Naomi Hill
MHM.
00:11:20 Athena Cordero
Do you feel like you got to where you've got more than 10 kids in there and they want to be here like they're they're showing up?
00:11:29 Naomi Hill
I want to say.
00:11:31 Naomi Hill
Probably by the third week. OK. I want to say that because.
00:11:36 Naomi Hill
It was an open platform like we had the questions geared for them, but it was a very LAX structure. OK, so.
00:11:46 Naomi Hill
They just wanted to talk, you know, and it was more about.
00:11:51 Naomi Hill
Like how they feel on campus as an athlete. But even at home with their parents, their expectations, the struggles that they have as an athlete and.
00:12:04 Naomi Hill
I feel like they start to connect with each other compared to just being, oh, you're my teammate.
00:12:12 Naomi Hill
They got to learn a lot.
00:12:13 Athena Cordero
About each other, so I have to ask because I've worked with teenagers, even in alternative education settings, middle school, high school, it's not easy to get them to talk to you. It's not easy to get them to trust you. They very much want you to prove yourself first before they'll give you.
00:12:32 Athena Cordero
Even a good morning. Right. Who? How did you get them to answer these questions in front of each other and to and to keep talking, to keep being OK with sharing anything about themselves. They had already been on a team together, right? Yes. So what? What was it? Do you feel? What?
00:12:50 Athena Cordero
What do you feel like made it OK in the room for them?
00:12:53 Athena Cordero
To do that.
00:12:54 Naomi Hill
I think part of the colors curriculum, you learn a lot about yourself. So when you have that insight about yourself, you get excited like, wait a minute. I do.
00:13:05 Naomi Hill
Do.
00:13:05 Naomi Hill
That This is why I'm like that. And then your other peers are like, yeah, you are like that. That is what you do.
00:13:14 Naomi Hill
And then this is where this conversation comes in at, because it's like, well, I'm not.
00:13:21 Naomi Hill
I'm not trying to be in charge. I'm not trying to tell you guys what to do. I'm not a stickler. This is just how I operate. Yeah. And when they start to understand like, ohh, this is me. This is like because sometimes we even as adults, we have questions like why am I like that? Yeah. Why do I operate like that? So for these kids to be like.
00:13:40 Athena Cordero
Oh yeah. OK.
00:13:41 Naomi Hill
This is why I have to move that way because I don't comprehend if you move that way. So now I have a better understanding about myself and I can explain to people well, this is kind of how you have to communicate with me in order for me to.
00:13:53 Naomi Hill
Understand. Got you so.
00:13:56 Naomi Hill
When you're learning about yourself, you're excited, you know, and then you start to learn about other people. And then it just has you think about, like, your family members, like, oh, my cousin is like that, right. They're kind of. OK. So I see that they're not trying to be bossy. They can only operate on having, like, certain structures. Yes.
00:14:17 Naomi Hill
And if they don't have that structure, they're like eye roll. Yeah. Uh-huh.
00:14:21 Athena Cordero
Not really about me, but that's where the eye roll came.
00:14:23 Naomi Hill
From got you and everything goes out of whack for them. Yeah, so they're not trying to, like, control everything, but they just don't want to operate no other way. And I think that's eye opening, you know, for themselves and for the people.
00:14:33 Athena Cordero
Yeah.
00:14:37 Athena Cordero
Around them. Was there a difference or, you know, even just much of a difference between the boy group and the girl group?
00:14:46 Naomi Hill
UM.
00:14:48 Naomi Hill
I was kind of shocked because I did not think that I would get much.
00:14:52 Naomi Hill
Out of the.
00:14:52 Naomi Hill
Voice. OK, so in the beginning, you know the boys are goofy. Yeah, playing around, talking. But they got just as invested because they started to learn about themselves too. You know, like all do.
00:15:05
Yeah.
00:15:08 Naomi Hill
OK. You don't like to just, but you don't know how to do it no other way. But you are taking this serious, right? And.
00:15:14
OK.
00:15:16 Naomi Hill
Even in the group you start to understand that.
00:15:22 Naomi Hill
They just looked at each other as teammates.
00:15:28 Naomi Hill
And not as.
00:15:31 Naomi Hill
Appear OK that you also have the same struggles you know cause.
00:15:39 Naomi Hill
As a student athlete, you have to have your grades up. Yeah, right. You have to have.
00:15:44 Naomi Hill
You have to be able to get to practice. You have to be able to. You know, your parents have to sign this, this and that, understanding that it's not just you like everybody has to go through this. Yeah. Your your teammates have siblings, maybe their parents can't show up to, you know, well, my parents work all day. So This is why they don't come to the games.
00:16:05 Naomi Hill
Like oh, that's why you don't have the support.
00:16:09 Naomi Hill
I got to keep my grades up. This is why I don't come out hanging out during lunch because I'm getting tutoring, right? Like, this is the struggle I have with trying to stay on the team. So they got a little bit more personable with each other and understanding that you didn't just get picked for the team, you you have other things going on just like.
00:16:29 Naomi Hill
I do.
00:16:30 Naomi Hill
And we learned a lot about each other.
00:16:37 Naomi Hill
I did.
00:16:39 Naomi Hill
The I could say the girls were more.
00:16:46 Naomi Hill
Eye opening for them like oh.
00:16:50 Naomi Hill
You're not just, you know, drama. This is this is how you this is what you need to do. Functions, girls. Yes.
00:16:54 Athena Cordero
Ohh, they don't have.
00:16:55 Athena Cordero
With girls? Yeah, teenage girls is different and they can be a little more critical right of each other. And I'm saying that just from experience, you know, just in working with teenagers, what I've noticed and they.
00:16:58 Naomi Hill
Mm-hmm.
00:17:04 Naomi Hill
MHM.
00:17:07 Naomi Hill
Yes.
00:17:13 Athena Cordero
I think they learn at that age from whatever, you know, social media, what's on TV, whatever to be a little bit more judgmental right at that at that age, for whatever reason, you know, right, wrong or indifferent for why people do things. But they do pick it up. Yes. Then so.
00:17:31 Athena Cordero
In those conversations.
00:17:33 Athena Cordero
Were they as as quick you know, as the boys to get more personal, like more personal and more open to sharing?
00:17:34 Naomi Hill
Add.
00:17:43 Naomi Hill
I think the girls had a.
00:17:46 Athena Cordero
Better.
00:17:48 Naomi Hill
Connection of understanding.
00:17:50 Naomi Hill
Their teammate, OK and who they are, I think the boys.
00:17:57 Naomi Hill
Started to learn just who they are. Just as a person. Like, wait a minute. Oh, so such as your brother like because they don't talk to each other. Gotcha. You don't. On the team. It's like, oh, no, we don't talk. We just do what we do and you know, and we cover everything up. You know, we do our job. Yes. Yeah. Do your job and go.
00:18:12 Athena Cordero
Yes.
00:18:14 Athena Cordero
Back to class.
00:18:15 Naomi Hill
Or whatever. Yeah, and.
00:18:19 Naomi Hill
Some of these kids on the teams after the season is over. They go back to school, they don't hang out with each other. Some of them, they're not friends outside of the team, so they don't really know too much about each other. So I think the girls.
00:18:36 Naomi Hill
Had a better understanding of who you are as a person.
00:18:41 Naomi Hill
I think the boys had a better understanding of, like, just like, oh wait, you are a person like wait, you are somebody, you know, that deal with other things besides just.
00:18:55 Athena Cordero
What you do and what you play, right? So and you have struggles outside of that. So they and and I'm I'm almost wishing I was just sitting there watching her all day. So in the process of this these you said you had six or eight weeks 8-8 weeks.
00:19:12 Athena Cordero
Did they ever share? You know, how they felt about the pressure, the expectation from the adults, you know, and what type of pressure expectation they felt from. And I mean adults, parents, coaches, teachers, you know, folks that they don't know but know them because they play. You know, they're this.
00:19:31 Athena Cordero
On this team they play this sport. They watched this game. Did they open up about some of those things? Wow.
00:19:37 Naomi Hill
Oh yeah, they talked a lot, you know, especially about their parents. That would yell on the sideline.
00:19:45 Naomi Hill
The.
00:19:48 Naomi Hill
The trying to correct them after the coach tells them like no sideline coachings like.
00:19:53 Naomi Hill
Oh, why my parents just don't listen. Like it's embarrassing, you know, to them.
00:20:00 Naomi Hill
Even the staff at school, you know?
00:20:03 Naomi Hill
Don't ask them any other questions, but besides that sport like, oh, you're going to get a goal for us this season, right? Yeah. Instead of like, you know, well, how are you doing? You know, only one season is running. That's when they're taught to or paid attention to.
00:20:19 Naomi Hill
Well, I didn't think about it like that. So that really got to them. One of the stories, the.
00:20:27 Naomi Hill
I want to say it was the first or second week when we were in the the Wellness Center. They said, oh, we've never been in this room. And one girl said yes, we were. We were here because one of their teammates had passed away in a car accident. Oh, wow. And they say, yeah, this is where they told us that, son, such died.
00:20:46 Naomi Hill
And they told us, well, you guys could sit in here for a little bit and get it all out. And one of the girls asked, can we retire that number? Jersey? And another coach said, no, we need that. We don't really have too many numbers.
00:20:58 Naomi Hill
And she said so basically, we're just numbers to them.
00:21:02 Naomi Hill
And that really hit hard so.
00:21:08 Naomi Hill
You know, we had a conversation about it because I explained to them. Sometimes people just say things. Yeah, they don't really know how it affects other people.
00:21:16 Athena Cordero
And the timing of it? Mm-hmm. You know.
00:21:19 Naomi Hill
So and I asked them, like, did you guys ever say anything about that? And they said no, it doesn't matter. And I asked them, was it OK if I could talk about it? And they said, yeah, so I had a conversation with the counselor and even one of the coaches, and they were just like.
00:21:36 Naomi Hill
Heartbroken.
00:21:38 Naomi Hill
Like they didn't really. They didn't know, so I think.
00:21:43 Naomi Hill
Being able to advocate and communicate is also what we tried to teach them too, so you know, the adults can have a better understanding of where you.
00:21:53 Naomi Hill
Guys are coming from.
00:21:54 Naomi Hill
But you know, those are the stressors that they have from the staff, their parents, their other peers, friends coming to watch them or if they lose a game the next day, you know your peers or even your teammates.
00:22:09 Naomi Hill
Like, Oh my God.
00:22:10 Naomi Hill
If he just would have ran faster, or if they would have.
00:22:12 Naomi Hill
Just it's a lot, yeah.
00:22:14 Naomi Hill
So they did.
00:22:17 Naomi Hill
Just talked about like the struggles, you know their body is aching, but they still to come to school the next day, right? Get the work done. They still gotta go to practice. It's like it's never like they love it, but it's never ending.
00:22:30 Naomi Hill
But no one's asking them about them.
00:22:33 Athena Cordero
So the questions they're getting the concern that the adults probably felt like they were sharing.
00:22:40 Athena Cordero
Was really directed at the job they're doing right? The sport that they're playing, right? Not not who they are as individuals, right? And and I'll I'll defend the adults a little bit. It's already hard enough to talk to teenagers. So you know, you're trying to find something you think they're interested in or that they feel is important.
00:22:55 Naomi Hill
Right, right.
00:23:01 Athena Cordero
And you start there, right. And so, you know, you said it a second ago, even us as adults, we don't know. Sometimes, you know, the best way to start doing things. I'm hearing this story about.
00:23:13 Athena Cordero
You know their teammate that passed away and that being the room that they were in, that was the last experience they had there. So even trying to bring a group of kids back in there to share, to talk, to open up, you didn't know, you know, coming into that space that that's what they had experienced. But here we go. You know, we you figured that out later. It really does make you think about.
00:23:17 Naomi Hill
Right.
00:23:34 Athena Cordero
Everything that they're trying to balance.
00:23:36 Athena Cordero
And still figure out who they are as young adults and be better, right? You know, all at the same time. Did did they ask you, you know, or or want to know how they do that? That that come across their minds or were they just willing to share what they're going through and didn't really want.
00:23:57 Athena Cordero
You know, solutions or suggestions, I'm just curious.
00:24:00 Naomi Hill
I think we really worked on them sharing more because I don't have a solution. Yeah, I don't know. I I I don't know how to fix it until I know what's going on. Yeah, right. And.
00:24:15 Naomi Hill
A lot of.
00:24:16 Naomi Hill
A lot of what they were sharing, you know, you have your wheels running like, OK, how could they have done this? How could they go about that but and some of the stuff is kind of like individualized. Yeah. It's. So I they didn't ask thank God because really authentically, I don't know.
00:24:37 Naomi Hill
Yeah, I don't know. You know, I've seen the struggles with my own kids. You know, my oldest daughter.
00:24:43 Naomi Hill
She's very hard on herself and she was a straight A student and she wanted to be the best.
00:24:50 Naomi Hill
Plus, be an introvert. OK, let me say not say plus be an she is introvert introverted kid.
00:25:01 Naomi Hill
Who struggled a lot mentally? Yeah, that I didn't understand. I was kind of trying to figure out where is this coming from, you know she.
00:25:10 Naomi Hill
Not want to talk to people after they lost the game? I'm like it's just a game. Get over it. Yeah. Or she wouldn't talk to her teammates. I I was like, go over and go talk. I don't want to, like, OK, because I'm gonna talk to the person I get in there. And so me and her, we just struggled with.
00:25:28 Naomi Hill
How she could connect? And so she was struggling mentally with that. She was the team captain for her club and for.
00:25:36 Athena Cordero
School so added added. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
00:25:38 Naomi Hill
So there was pressure with that.
00:25:42 Naomi Hill
And I didn't know, like I gave her advice as a person because she's my kid. Yeah, right. But as an athlete, I don't know what you should do.
00:25:55 Naomi Hill
But how are you? Yeah, you know, just outside of that, I don't. I don't.
00:25:59 Athena Cordero
Know and you know what I think you.
00:26:01 Athena Cordero
Just you hit it on the head right there.
00:26:04 Athena Cordero
I'm curious if they asked for a solution because I was wondering, do they even feel like there has to be 1 or were they just waiting for an opportunity to just spill their guts, you know, and just talk about what it is they have to go through because sometimes just putting that out there is enough to give you a second win, right? And get back to what it is you're doing or even know how it feels to feel relieved.
00:26:09
Hmm.
00:26:25 Athena Cordero
After you share something, is a lot right? Most people don't know that.
00:26:26 Naomi Hill
MHM.
00:26:30 Athena Cordero
But I think even you telling them or helping them to see, there's not always a clear answer is helpful.
00:26:37 Naomi Hill
MHM.
00:26:37 Athena Cordero
It's helpful because they're not going to just reach for something quick. You know, they're either it's a process and that you kind of have to go through it, right? That's a that's a huge lesson I think for them to learn on top of all of what you already shared with them, even that's a great lesson. And here in adults say I don't.
00:26:41 Naomi Hill
Right.
00:26:53 Athena Cordero
Know.
00:26:54 Athena Cordero
Right, right. I don't know. We'll have to see or we'll have to figure it out.
00:26:58 Naomi Hill
That's huge, right?
00:27:01 Naomi Hill
And I think sometimes because like you said, an adult saying, I don't know, I've really had to give myself permission to be OK with that. Yeah.
00:27:11 Naomi Hill
Because as an adult, kids look to you for answers and you always feel like you have to have one for it. But I realize that when you do that.
00:27:18 Athena Cordero
Yes.
00:27:23 Naomi Hill
You have them believe that you are something unattainable. Yeah, like, well, if my mom or if the coach always know how come? I don't know. Then something's wrong with me, right? But no, I don't know. I don't know. You don't know? We can figure this out together, or we can just sit here and we don't know, but.
00:27:43 Naomi Hill
I'm in the same boat with you, so you don't have to. You don't have to have it all together right now. And you you might figure it out a couple years from now because sometimes when we.
00:27:55 Naomi Hill
Have them feel like they have to know everything, and if they're not at that point in their life to have it all figured.
00:28:01 Naomi Hill
Out.
00:28:02 Naomi Hill
They there's the confidence right there. Yeah, there's where they feel like they're lagging in life, you know? And no, we we're all trying to figure this out together. So I have to ask because you were a manager for your daughter's team, but you're their mother. Watching them play the sport.
00:28:23 Athena Cordero
What's the balance like for you as a parent, but also very much to, you know, the business end of youth sports, how do you balance the two? Where do you put the emotions for?
00:28:36 Athena Cordero
I don't want you to get hurt. I want you to do your best. If you lose. I don't want you to be hurt, so I'm going to say things like it's just a game.
00:28:44 Athena Cordero
Because I don't want you to feel you know, too too hard on yourself, but at the same time, I know if.
00:28:49 Athena Cordero
We had won you.
00:28:50 Athena Cordero
Know what do you do? Nay like? Where do you put all of that?
00:28:54 Naomi Hill
It it fluctuated it fluctuated cause there are times I'm like OK I got this. There are times where I like I can't stand none.
00:29:02 Naomi Hill
Of these people out here.
00:29:04 Naomi Hill
But parents, kids, none of them. No parking people that parked us. I don't like anyone right now. Right, I think.
00:29:15 Naomi Hill
How I learned to balance was to.
00:29:20 Naomi Hill
Help her and also help the other teammates communicate. Yeah. Tell us what you need. Say what you like. We don't know. We don't know what you're thinking, how you're feeling, and if you just shut down. It just looks to us like an attitude, right? Yeah. Like you're just unhappy. You don't want to be here.
00:29:40 Naomi Hill
But not understanding like you're just probably a little frustrated or even during warm ups like your game is off. So you really don't know like what you should do. Maybe you need a pep talk, yeah.
00:29:52 Naomi Hill
So I.
00:29:53 Naomi Hill
I it was hard, so I really have to communicate to my daughter. I need you to communicate with me. Tell me what you need. I'm not going to say that. I could just give you what you need, but I can't help if I don't know. Yeah. So she did. She started communicating, and it was one time.
00:30:11 Naomi Hill
Because she was a fast runner and one of the parents was telling her.
00:30:16 Naomi Hill
You got this. You're fashioning now run faster. And she looked at me and was like, I am not flash you.
00:30:22 Naomi Hill
Know I was.
00:30:23 Athena Cordero
Just like from the field.
00:30:26 Athena Cordero
And I just looked and I'm like.
00:30:28 Naomi Hill
Well, well, that's how she it.
00:30:30 Naomi Hill
Is. Yeah. She's not flash. Like you're telling her to run faster. And so we would. It was more light hearted after a game. If she lost cause then she would start to communicate. Like. Yeah, I want to see them get out on field and run. They can't even walk up like we would joke. Instead of her being in a car and everyone go silent.
00:30:48 Naomi Hill
Don't talk to her because she's upset. She's in her feelings. She's, you know, so.
00:30:53 Naomi Hill
Helping her learn to communicate and to communicate with her teammates. Yeah, an advocate for yourself is Freddie. This so this. I've listened to the story and I can almost see her doing this. Right? Because I know her. But I have seen kids scream from the field at their own parents.
00:31:14 Athena Cordero
At their coaches, you know, just at strangers who are yelling at them. Yes. And I thought to myself, in a classroom setting.
00:31:22 Athena Cordero
Wow. You know what, what would have been the reaction in a classroom setting to something like that? And it would be much different. But because they're on the field.
00:31:30 Naomi Hill
Right.
00:31:33 Athena Cordero
You know the environment, it it, it's not. I don't want to say it's allowed because it's not allowed, but it is different. Very different. It is very different. And then I'm even thinking about my own daughter.
00:31:45 Athena Cordero
And and my son. My daughter is pretty quick. She's quick too. OK, so even when they're yelling at you, you know, or they're telling the, you know, other teammates to pass it to her because she's so quick. And then something goes wrong because she's so quick. Cause you know what happens when they're fast? What happens? Offsides. Yeah. Right. They looking like, oh, no, it's and they're like, you just.
00:31:56
MHM.
00:32:05 Athena Cordero
Screamed at me. Yep, to get the job done. Then when I do it, everybody's arms get thrown up because I'm offside. Like, what do you want from me? And I?
00:32:13 Athena Cordero
Could see it.
00:32:14 Athena Cordero
On her face, you know a few times and I'm going.
00:32:16 Athena Cordero
Thing.
00:32:18 Athena Cordero
Wow, they can't win for, you know, like sometimes it just feels like you can't win, right?
00:32:22 Athena Cordero
But when they start shouting back, I would get a little nervous. Yeah, right. Because I'm going. Whoa, what are we?
00:32:24
Mm-hmm.
00:32:30 Athena Cordero
These are.
00:32:30 Athena Cordero
Kids. No, they don't. They don't act like that. Right. That in itself probably surprises them, right? Especially for the ones who are not ones to talk back, you know, cop an attitude with adults.
00:32:41 Athena Cordero
But that just goes to show you how they can get pushed to their limit, right? So you're you're telling them, you know, express yourself. Communicate. Tell me what's going on. I think that encourages them to use their words in a way that's not so reactive. Right. And to shake off the things that they can't control, right. Which is huge for a young person to learn how to do.
00:33:02 Naomi Hill
MHM.
00:33:03 Athena Cordero
If there was 1 moment in the group, either boys or girls, where you feel like man, that was the moment that's the take away. I'm going to remember these kids for this reason. What? What would it?
00:33:16 Naomi Hill
Be oh man so.
00:33:18 Naomi Hill
Oh.
00:33:19 Naomi Hill
With the boys group our last session with them.
00:33:25 Naomi Hill
We had when we first started, they told us that.
00:33:30 Naomi Hill
One of the teammates, a parent, had died. Well, they didn't tell us who and they didn't tell us the boys or girls, so we didn't know. And in the last group, we were going around and I was asking, who is their support system, like, who is the closest person to them that they?
00:33:51 Naomi Hill
Communicate with them and kind of like have these type of conversations with them.
00:33:56 Naomi Hill
And you know, they would say who? And I would ask like, why?
00:34:00 Naomi Hill
And some, you know, some kids would be like, Oh my dad. Because, you know, I don't know, my mom's crazy or she doesn't know about soccer or my mom because my dad is always at work or my sister because, you know, she already knows how her parents are my aunt. Cause that's who I live with. And one kid said my dad.
00:34:20 Naomi Hill
And I asked him why, and he said because my mom passed away and.
00:34:27 Naomi Hill
None of the boys out of the.
00:34:30 Naomi Hill
We have 14.
00:34:32 Naomi Hill
And this kid was the captain and.
00:34:37 Naomi Hill
Only one kid knew, and he had been playing this entire time and no one knew well that his mom had passed away.
00:34:47 Naomi Hill
And everybody just Paul, including me I was.
00:34:49 Naomi Hill
Like, yeah, I.
00:34:50 Naomi Hill
Bet. Whoa, wait, what? And all the boys got quiet and they just looked at him and they were like, oh, man, we're sorry, man. You know, just offering their condolences and things of that nature.
00:35:02 Naomi Hill
Picture and he just, like, gave this little smile. He was like, it's OK. It's all right. You know, I'm good. I'm good. And I was like, well, what made you want to share that now?
00:35:12 Naomi Hill
He says. I just feel like we're family now. Like, these are like my actual friends. Like, we know each other now. Yeah. Said I don't. I didn't feel comfortable before. And a lot of boys were. They felt bad because they were like, we didn't know. Yeah. And he just kind of went on and pushed through as the captain. Yeah.
00:35:32 Naomi Hill
And I that stuck with me.
00:35:35 Athena Cordero
That's huge. And for it to be almost at the end of your time with them, you know, for him to share it.
00:35:36 Naomi Hill
Mm-hmm.
00:35:43 Athena Cordero
It just goes to show you it still took him a little.
00:35:45 Athena Cordero
Bit.
00:35:46 Athena Cordero
But he.
00:35:46 Athena Cordero
Did right and I think what was huge for me too was the response he got from his team. They didn't judge him for not saying anything. Right. You know, they felt bad that they didn't know. Right. That's also a big.
00:36:02 Athena Cordero
That's a big step for kids right to show, because in that moment they took some wow, like we should have known. How come we didn't act? How come we didn't? That's a huge step for teenagers. Our focus on the self a lot.
00:36:08 Naomi Hill
Right.
00:36:14 Athena Cordero
So that's a skill that you can't you can't beat that to self. Reflect. Think about what you could have done, how you could have noticed. I'm sure they're never going to forget that. Oh, yeah as well. Yeah. OK. So how many more of these groups do you get to do? Are you going to replicate this very perfect model that you?
00:36:32
Press.
00:36:34 Naomi Hill
Well, I wanted to.
00:36:38 Naomi Hill
I wanted to do it because there was a couple coaches that wanted to do it because wanted to do their their teams and then there were kids who played different sports. Yeah. And they felt like this would be good for, like, my tennis team. This would be good for our volleyball team. It's just hard to.
00:36:58 Naomi Hill
Get.
00:37:01 Naomi Hill
Some of these coaches on board. Yeah, which is.
00:37:05 Naomi Hill
I mean, I'm not a coach, right? So I'm kind of biased because I'm just like, look, I'm doing half your job, right? You don't have to do this part. You don't have to see how they're doing, how they're feel like I'm doing this for you. I'm about to get this group together. So you, you guys get win, right? You guys get connect better. Yeah. And.
00:37:23 Naomi Hill
It's not as easy as I thought to get them on board, so that's kind of been.
00:37:27
Yes.
00:37:31 Naomi Hill
Difficult.
00:37:33 Athena Cordero
Which and again, thinking from the coach lens, their.
00:37:41 Athena Cordero
Goal their intention, their process, the expectation even for a coach, especially high school, you know, it's a little more competitive.
00:37:52 Athena Cordero
They're not looking at it the same way, right. And I think when I hear this and when I first heard you tell me about this, I see it the same way we try to go in the classrooms and explain to teachers, we're going to give you some things that will give you back some time, but you have to stick with it. You know, try it for several weeks before you give up on it.
00:38:08 Naomi Hill
Right.
00:38:12 Athena Cordero
It'll give you some time back in the classroom. It'll give you some buy in with the kids, but you have to stick with it and it's hard to do when you're not getting results fast, right? And so for a coach, I can't imagine what trust on your team would do.
00:38:27 Athena Cordero
Cool.
00:38:28 Athena Cordero
For the way they play together, right? I feel like that's invaluable. But again, there's not quick results with that, right. And and for coaches, sometimes I can imagine they need to see some quick results, right? And so that's a hard shift.
00:38:31 Naomi Hill
MHM.
00:38:44
MHM.
00:38:44 Athena Cordero
But I'm hoping you know, with even hearing the experience you had with these particular groups, it's something to consider, you know, something to chew on and see if they can make it fit on their campuses. I think it makes a huge difference for kids.
00:39:01 Athena Cordero
Balancing expectation, growing being human beings on top of everything else and that piece about.
00:39:09 Athena Cordero
Learning who you are.
00:39:10 Naomi Hill
Hmm.
00:39:11 Athena Cordero
And then learning who someone else is and not criticizing them for it. Just understanding.
00:39:18 Athena Cordero
I think we need that on every.
00:39:19 Athena Cordero
High school campus, right?
00:39:22 Athena Cordero
This has been awesome.
00:39:23
Yes.
00:39:25 Athena Cordero
Yes, I can't. I I really hope you get to do it again.
00:39:28 Athena Cordero
I hope so too. I hope so and and if you do, please come back and tell us how that went. So more coaches, more high schools, more athletes, more parents can hear about it. Because I think it's.
00:39:42 Athena Cordero
I think there's an.
00:39:44 Athena Cordero
And importance behind it that we're not on top of yet.
00:39:48 Athena Cordero
Yeah, we should have and I.
00:39:50 Naomi Hill
Think like.
00:39:52 Naomi Hill
We're.
00:39:53 Naomi Hill
Creating a presentation actually that we are we'll be presenting at the Wellness.
00:39:56 Athena Cordero
OK.
00:40:03 Naomi Hill
Keep saying Wellness Center at the Wellness Conference. Yes, that we are going to be working with you know.
00:40:11 Naomi Hill
All staff or whoever.
00:40:15 Naomi Hill
That will that will present to. So I want to see like if.
00:40:21 Naomi Hill
I want to see if.
00:40:24 Naomi Hill
If this will help.
00:40:26 Naomi Hill
The adults, yeah. And the coaches.
00:40:30 Naomi Hill
Have a better understanding besides just saying, hey, this is what we do. Bring your kids in and it's like, what? What? OK, what are you doing? What? And then I have to, like, break it down to them. Some people are visual. I am. So you could tell me something. And I'm like, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then going about my way.
00:40:47 Naomi Hill
So I think if this helps, giving them a visual, seeing how it is and having that breakdown, yeah, maybe we could take this out to the schools and present this to the coaches, then bring them on board, right, you know, compared to just, hey, we're going to do a group because that's really high. Just throw it out there.
00:41:08 Naomi Hill
Want to do a group. I want to do this. I want to do that and they're like, uh, we're all in and then they.
00:41:13 Naomi Hill
Don't respond and I'm.
00:41:14 Naomi Hill
Like OK, but I think that and and all of them are saying like, yeah, this is.
00:41:19 Naomi Hill
A good idea, but.
00:41:20 Athena Cordero
That next step, yeah, yeah.
00:41:22 Naomi Hill
Where I'm just like look, this is.
00:41:23 Naomi Hill
This is how.
00:41:24 Naomi Hill
Help this could help even with you. When these kids come to you personally saying I'm struggling, right and hopefully we can get the kids on board because I'm all about self advocating for yourself because even in doing some research you have a lot of student athletes who are.
00:41:44 Naomi Hill
Committing suicide. Yeah, so we need them to advocate for themselves and to speak up for themselves and to say what they need. If it's during season or out of season, what do you need and what's your limit because.
00:42:03 Naomi Hill
Even what students who get injured in the sport? Yeah, I've learned what my son didn't know. It happened. They go into like depression mode.
00:42:12
Oh my gosh.
00:42:15 Athena Cordero
You know Alisa or you know full tear ACL.
00:42:20 Athena Cordero
I've never seen that look on her face before.
00:42:24 Athena Cordero
Right. I mean, I carried this baby for nine months, took care of her. I've never seen that look on her face. It almost made me hate soccer.
00:42:33
M.
00:42:34 Athena Cordero
Yes, I hate it. You know, I really in the moment hated it. Like, this is what did this to her.
00:42:39 Athena Cordero
And of course, that wasn't, you know, that wasn't what it was. It was an accident. She's very competitive, but who? That is rough. Yes. Yeah, rough.
00:42:49 Naomi Hill
It's it's very rough. Yeah. And these kids go because you go from mobile and.
00:42:55 Naomi Hill
Cheering or being athletic and competitive to now literally handicapped. Yeah, you know, so I learned that with my son when he literally paid for two weeks with a broken ankle until I was like, dude, it looks like a golf ball. Like, and I was trying everything. But he was a mom.
00:43:16 Naomi Hill
It's like, yeah, yeah, whatever. Uh, just leave me alone. I don't want to talk. I don't want. And I reached out to some parents that I knew their kid was like a top soccer player. And I know that he had some injuries and things that in nature. But I mean, everybody talked about.
00:43:34 Naomi Hill
Kid and I just asked, like, hey, you think your son could talk to my son and blah blah blah?
00:43:39 Athena Cordero
And you're like, yeah.
00:43:41 Naomi Hill
Sure. He talked to him for about 30 minutes and was like, yeah, dude, like, every season I was kind of red shirted at the beginning cause I got injured every time before season even started. Yeah, I played with a broken toe because I wanted to play so bad, like.
00:43:55 Naomi Hill
I know how it feels.
00:43:58 Naomi Hill
30 minutes all of a sudden this was my son was a whole new kid and I'm like, wait, I said all those things for weeks. You just brush me off, but it's it's different when you have. Yeah. Appear having this conversation with you.
00:44:02
I might.
00:44:14 Naomi Hill
Like I know exactly how you feel, right. And I thought that was amazing. And I think kids can do that for kids with each.
00:44:16 Athena Cordero
Alright.
00:44:23 Athena Cordero
Other you're you're absolutely right. And and it's just making me go back to the beginning when I asked, you know?
00:44:33 Athena Cordero
Did they ask for advice? Did they, you know? Did they ask for solutions? What do you think they got out of this? And you did say that they can look at.
00:44:41 Athena Cordero
Each other like peers.
00:44:42
MHM.
00:44:43 Athena Cordero
There are some common ground there. You can go to each other. That's not always the invitation for.
00:44:48 Naomi Hill
Teenagers out the gate, right?
00:44:50 Athena Cordero
You're. So you're absolutely right.
00:44:54 Athena Cordero
The statistics on and the research on Suicide, Depression, the grief that they go through in the, you know, going through an injury, same thing with my son broke his wrist.
00:45:07 Athena Cordero
Never seen that look. And you know for him that it was his own tragedy being much younger than my daughter. So he felt like it was his extreme. Yeah, but he grieved too, right. They both went through a grieving process. So you're right. There's more to it than the competition. There's a lot to balance. Even just worrying about an injury.
00:45:29 Naomi Hill
Yes.
00:45:30 Athena Cordero
OK. We could talk about this for, I mean days and especially because our kids both are are really competitive, really good athletes. But if if by chance there's a coach listening, Counselor, High school, you know, someone parent even who's interested in trying to get this.
00:45:50 Athena Cordero
You know, intervention on their campus, a group like this, how do they contact you?
00:45:56 Naomi Hill
Oh, so you would call call DMCC so as a children's center? Yes. And you get reached out to our program manager, which is Gia.
00:46:08 Naomi Hill
Roll bless. OK, burgle. OK.
00:46:12 Naomi Hill
Hope I'm saying that right.
00:46:13 Athena Cordero
Well, and so how about?
00:46:15 Athena Cordero
This what's your e-mail address?
00:46:16 Naomi Hill
So my e-mail is naominaomi.hillhilatcahelp.org OK, perfect so they can.
00:46:27 Naomi Hill
Reach out to.
00:46:28 Naomi Hill
Me. OK. And yeah, we can get the ball rolling that would be.
00:46:33 Naomi Hill
I mean, I'm excited. You know, anytime that we can go out and do this because I think it's.
00:46:41 Naomi Hill
It's important, you know, because it's we're dealing with.
00:46:46 Naomi Hill
The whole kid? Yeah, not just, you know.
00:46:51 Naomi Hill
The sport.
00:46:51 Athena Cordero
No, that's perfect way perfect way to say it. I hope people do reach out. I hope that at some point we not only have you back, but maybe even a student to talk about their experience and what it did for the group that they participated in.
00:47:06 Naomi Hill
Oh yeah, we could definitely do that because I I have. It's funny because.
00:47:11 Naomi Hill
I have two students that keep up with me. You know, that would be like, hey, I got recruited to this and I'm just like, oh, my God. Like, hey, how are you? That sounds like invitation accepted. Hey, I think we might have to set that up. Yeah, that will. I think it'll be amazing for the youth to really.
00:47:24
And.
00:47:31 Naomi Hill
Express what they got out of it and how.
00:47:35 Naomi Hill
What they need? Yeah, I think that's the thing. Because, like you say, as an adult, we kind of, we don't know unless you say something, but sometimes they they, the kids don't want to talk and we have to let them know it's OK you got to tell us we can't do anything unless.
00:47:46
Yeah.
00:47:51 Naomi Hill
You tell us.
00:47:52 Athena Cordero
And I think to keep telling them that.
00:47:54
MHM.
00:47:54 Athena Cordero
You know, just telling them one time is that a death? No, keep extending the invitation. Keep asking. Model it right. You know, model it for him. This was all.
00:48:06 Naomi Hill
Thank you. Thank.
00:48:07 Athena Cordero
You thank you so much. We'll make sure again naomi.hill@cahelp.org to get in contact with you if anybody reaches out. I want to know I.
00:48:16 Athena Cordero
Can't wait to see.
00:48:16 Naomi Hill
What happens? Yeah, that'll be amazing.
00:48:18 Athena Cordero
Thank you so much today. Alright. You're welcome.
